Taboo Page 6

  I leave the pump room first, stopping by the kitchen to grab a knife. Betsy has cut the watermelon in a dozen pieces by the time I spot Carter back on the stand. Everyone seems oblivious, not even noticing my flushed, red chest. Everyone that is, but Bikini Mom. I see her looking between us. Back and forth from the guard chair to where I stand passing out watermelon slices to the girls. I don’t know what her problem is or why she’s paying so much attention but I know he and I should be more careful.

  Easier said than done.

  Chapter 17

  Finley makes a pie just like she promised. Two, in fact. One cherry, one apple. I make deviled eggs and altogether we manage to scrape up a full picnic. The humidity has dropped making it cooler than expected, and it’s windy, which is nice except it could mean a storm is passing through.

  “Cute dress,” Finley says. I took a risk and wore a white eyelet sundress. The stark color makes my tan look fantastic. I wore my hair down like Carter likes.

  “Thanks.”

  “Hopefully, if it rains it will be after the fireworks,” Finley says. She nudges my arm with her elbow. “See? I told you they would get along.”

  Ryan and Carter stand in an empty section of grass tossing a purple Frisbee. From the snatches of conversation I can hear, the majority of conversation centers on sports. Figures.

  “Frisbee, soccer and football. Universal language of men, I guess.”

  “So,” Finley says. She’s unpacking plates and utensils. “What’s going on with Bikini Mom. Why are you so worried about it?”

  “Why? Are you kidding?” I ask. “I’m screwing a teenager. It may not be illegal but if word gets around I could lose my job.”

  “Just relax. You heard her. Her marriage is a mess and she wanted Carter to be her little fling. She doesn’t know you’re together but she sure can’t get his attention like she wanted.”

  “I guess.”

  “Plus you have the body she paid for. That probably pisses her off more than anything.”

  “Probably. It’s just not really worth it to lose my job over sex, you know.” I glance over at Carter, who’s running across the field full speed to catch the Frisbee. He leaps over a couple eating dinner and crashes to the ground. We both cheer when he stands, dirty and covered in grass stains, but holding the disc up in victory. I roll my eyes. “Really good sex. But still just sex.”

  “There’s nothing more between you guys?”

  I stop what I’m doing. “Why would you say that?”

  “You two just look pretty happy, you know? I thought maybe things had progressed beyond fuck buddy.”

  “I like him. He’s fun and smart. We have a good time together, but what? I’m going to his frat parties this fall? I’ve already lived that life once.”

  Carter and Ryan walk our direction. I notice how Carter’s hair keeps getting blonder from the days in the sun and his skin has turned an ever darker brown. I rarely see him in nice clothes. Usually, it’s either bathing trunks or a sloppy T-shirt. Or naked. But tonight he has on a clean white button down and plaid shorts. Red, white and blue for the occasion.

  The guys approach the blanket and Carter sits next to me, leaning over for a kiss. A real kiss. The PDA kind I’m not used to with him. I pull back a little, only giving him a soft peck. The disappointment and confusion is clear on his face but he doesn’t say anything.

  Finley, of course, does.

  “Really? The first time you guys go out in public and that’s it?” she asks. “Come on, kiss her like you mean it.”

  My cheeks flush hot and Carter raises a sly eyebrow. He’s not afraid of her but for a brief moment I’m afraid of him because he’s not one to back away from a challenge. I don’t know much about him but I do know that.

  “You don’t have to—,“ I start, but he cuts me off with that mouth of his. Jesus, that mouth. He goes for it, tongue and all and I melt like a stick of butter at a picnic on the Fourth of July. For once he smells like soap instead of sunscreen and if he tried to take off my dress I’d probably let him, right here, right in the middle of the park.

  Thank god one of us is the mature one in the relationship and stops. Carter politely removes my fingers from his hair.

  “Nice,” Finley nods in approval. “Now that you’ve gotten that out of your system, can we just act normal now? No need to hide. No weirdness. No awkward crap, okay?”

  Easy for her to say. After that kiss I’m like a dog in heat. Since I can’t do anything about it, I eat six deviled eggs and four pieces of pie and wait for the night to be over.

  *

  The first crack of lightning comes just after dark but before the first firework. It’s loud and scary, zigzagging over our heads. The four of us look at one another and Finley shouts, “Grab the stuff and run!”

  Everyone gets a handful. I pick up the blanket while Carter gets the basket. Finley and Ryan shove the rest into their bags. We scream goodbye as fat drops of rain start to fall. Carter’s hands slips into mine—dragging me through the storm.

  I’ve never been caught in a storm like this, with huge drops of rain and booming thunder and lightning. It’s so heavy I can barely see three feet in front of me. Carter shouts, “Over there,” and we dash under the eaves of a small church about fifty feet from his car.

  “Wow,” he says, dumping our stuff on the ground. We’re safe from the rain under here but the thunder and lightning are still scary. He looks at me and frowns. “You’re freezing.”

  I’m drenched, like a rat, my hair matted to my neck. “I’m F-f-f-ine,” I stutter, my teeth chattering. He’s no dryer than I am.

  “You’re also basically naked,” he points out. I look down and he’s right, My white dress turned completely see-through in the rain. He reaches over his head and pulls off his wet shirt, slipping it over my arms one by one and then my head. He wraps both arms around me, in an attempt to share his body heat. We wait out the storm in one another’s arms.

  Chapter 18

  After the fourth of July, it hits me. We only have three weeks left before he leaves for school. Sure, we’ll both be in the same area, Raleigh-Durham, but the college is huge and we’re in completely different programs. Odds are we’ll never see one another again.

  The idea makes me risky and hornier than ever. I have no doubt the other guards know what’s going on since one of them caught us making out in the office. After that we’ve kept our hands off one another at the pool. Then a group of kids got busted smoking weed in the parking lot one night, ensuring police patrols once a night. We’re running out of time, space and location. All of these things make me desperate.

  “Why not?” he asks for what seems like the millionth time.

  “Because coming to the house feels like crossing a line or something. My bosses are right there.” We’re trying to figure out how we can see each other—be together—without getting caught. The back of the car has lost its appeal.

  “What? You can’t have friends over?”

  “You know I can, Carter, but you’re eighteen. What if they see you? What if they tell your parents or something?” We haven’t talked about the age thing in a while and now it just feels strange. I no longer see him as differently as I did before, but not everyone will feel the same way.

  “I don’t care if they know,” he says petulantly. We’re in his car, behind the movie theater, parked in the shadowy dark. The late show starts in an hour but we couldn’t figure out where to go while we waited. Hence the argument.

  “Three weeks, babe, that’s all we have left. Do you really want the hassle of parents and all that coming down on us? Because they will and it’s not worth it.”

  He’s working his jaw, flexing it tight. I reach out and touch it, trying to sooth his anger. He jerks away. Angry at me. At the situation. At being a kid. I don’t blame him.

  “Just think, in a couple of weeks you won’t have this problem. You can screw anyone you want and no one will care. Sorority girls, cheerleaders, townies…no curfew, no parents.”

  Carter pushes my hand away and shakes his head. “You’re unbelievable.”

  “What?”

  He flings open the door and gets out of the car, slamming it behind him. I wait for him to calm down and come back in but he doesn’t. He just leans against the car, stony faced and hurt.

  I get out and approach him. “I didn’t say anything that’s not true.”

  “You don’t have to be so blasé about it, you know.”

  “Yeah,” I tell him. “I do. Because this isn’t real. Real starts in three weeks. You’ll know it when you see it.”

  “So this is just sex for you,” he challenges.

  I swallow the lump in my throat. “I never said it was anything more.”

  Carter runs his hands through his hair, tugging at the ends. I think he’d pull it out if he could. “I don’t believe that,” he whispers.

  This has gone too far, has become too serious, so I step forward. “Carter…”

  “So you’re just here to teach me,” he cuts me off. His gray eyes flash hot. “Show me how to pleasure a woman, make her feel like a queen, is that all? Is that what I am? A student? A protégé?”

  I want to argue but anything I say will give him false hope, so I bite my lip and look away, keeping my mouth shut. He steps forward and takes my face in his hands. “You’re right. You were clear about what you wanted from the beginning. You leveled with me and I’m fine with it. I’m just stressed and nervous about school…” He kisses me then, long and hard, darting his tongue in my mouth. I want to fight him but I don’t—I never do and when he lifts me up I wrap my legs around his waist.

  Carter pushes me against the car, my skirt inching past my thighs. I’ll fuck him here. I would, but I think how he’s better than this. Be
tter than skanky sex in public. This isn’t what I want him to know. I want him to treat women right—treat them like a goddess. That doesn’t happen out here.

  I touch my fingers to his lips. They’re hot with anger and desire. “Take me home,” I say.

  “What?”

  “To my home. Let’s go. We’ll be quiet and discreet and they’ll never know.”

  He frowns and a thin line forms between his eyebrows. “You sure?”

  “Yes,” I tell him, sliding down the side of the car and adjusting my skirt. “I’m sure.”

  *

  I’ve made a mistake. I know that the instant he enters me. My legs hang over his wide, strong shoulders and he’s pounding into me like he’ll never get the chance again.

  Oh, god.

  His eyes are open and I want to close mine but I can’t, I’m drowning and he’s drowning and only one of us can save the other. Only one of us can be the adult. But right now, right at this moment he’s hitting that spot, like I taught him, over and over and before I can even say his name he’s smothered my mouth in his own. He likes to steal my breath when I come, making me even more light headed. I’m almost there, almost and then…

  “What?” I breathe into the darkness. He’s gone and my legs are down and pushed wide. I feel his wet lips on my inner thigh and his dry fingers on my wet lips. I’m spiraling again, like before, but better and then gently, so gently he kisses me so soft I barely feel it and his fingers find my nipples. He plucks and twists and grazes over them just the right way and oh. Oh. Oh.

  “Oh Carter,” I say in my delirium, because he’s saved the best for last, because he rises back up and plunges in me so deep, to the hilt, knocking against my insides. He uses every ounce of his muscles and the strength and stamina until he hits that spot again, this time for real. The one that leaves me unraveled and in a heaving damp pile on the bed.

  “What the hell was that?” I ask, to his equally exhausted body, lying next to mine. I ask, but I already know. I know what just happened and I know the difference. All I wanted was sex and he gave me that plus everything else. All the stuff I didn’t want. Not just the sex and lust and the pent-up, horny as hell, teenaged boy. He gave me something more.

  And boy, was it worth it.

  He wraps me in his long swimmer’s arms, kissing my neck and ears and shoulders until we fall asleep together, peaceful and quiet.

  Chapter 19

  “Look, Ruthie, look!” Claire waves a handful ribbons and a gold trophy in my face. Two blues, a red and a white.

  “Great job, baby!”

  We’re at the end of the year pool party. I told the girls I would come even though technically, I’m off the clock. Their parents are here, sitting with the other families, enjoying the end of season cook-out.

  Aqua-Man has his own stack of ribbons, more blue than anything else and a gold medal rests against his chest. He runs his hand through his hair and I notice how much it’s grown out since the beginning of summer, it’s messier and even more adorable and if we weren’t in this crowd of people I’m pretty sure I’d be kissing him right now.

  After the night at my apartment things shifted for us. In a good and bad way. Carter gave me his all that night but since then has been more reserved. He stopped pushing any ‘real relationship’ nonsense and I think the reality of our situation finally set in. One week and he’s off to school, off to adulthood. I know he believes he’s losing me, but I know the truth. I know who’s really losing out.

  “Who’s that?” I ask Betsy, pointing to the woman standing next to Carter. She has wavy, short brown hair.

  “Oh, you know the girls’ swim instructor, Carter?”

  I nonchalantly nod. “Sure.”

  “That’s his mother. I met her at the pool board meeting earlier this summer.”

  “Oh, right.”

  I watch him with his mother while they talk with the other boys his age. They seem close, comfortable with one another. And now that I know they’re related, I see the similarities. The gray eyes. The tall stature. He’s never mentioned his parents to me much. I haven’t mentioned mine to him. What’s there to say?

  Oddly, he looks a little sad and I wonder if it’s because his reign as summer league champ has come to an end. It’s the end of an era, and for him it’s the definitive step between kid and grown-up. Probably even more than hooking up with an older woman. He’s looking a little lost until our eyes meet over dozens of kids and everything on him brightens. His eyes sparkle and his sure grin is even surer and I catch myself grinning back—

  Oh no.

  That’s when it hits me. Hard. He’s looking at me like he’s been waiting for me. Like I’m the one that can save him. And I’m doing the same thing and suddenly we’re a thing. A real thing.

  We were never supposed to be a real thing

  A quick-paced sense of panic rushes through my nerves. Because this is our summer fling. This is me leaving cougar town and hopping on the jailbait train and riding it until my thighs ache.

  He’s just a kid and like it or not, it’s time for me to grow up.

  When he turns to speak to someone, I chicken out. My heart has fallen to the pit of my stomach and I kiss the girls goodbye, making my excuses to their mom. Before he can reach me, before I have to face him again, I run away.

  Chapter 20

  “Remind me why we’re here?”

  A group of kids run by and Finley covers her ears, drowning out the screaming. We’re at one of those horrible bouncy places people take their kids to when they have reached the horrible spot of desperation. I am beyond that place. It’s a beautiful day. Blue sky greets us in all directions and it’s not even that hot. We should be at the pool. Instead we’re here.

  “Because I’m avoiding Aqua-Man.”

  Finley pushes her hair over her shoulder and looks at me like I’m a fool. She’s right, I am a fool, but I’m not backing down. “And why are you avoiding him?”

  “Because I think he likes me.”

  She nods. “I think you’re right. I’m pretty sure he fell in ‘like’ with you the minute you touched his dick.” I drop my head in my hands. God, I’m such an idiot. Finley, of course, isn’t done. “Or maybe when you put it in your mouth, or when you screwed him in your car or in the locker room—“

  “Shhhh!”

  She rolls her eyes, but lowers her voice to a whisper. “Or any of the dozen or so other places you schooled him on how to be a super sexy mofo.”

  “You encouraged me!”

  “I did and I still do. Who cares if he likes you? He likes your ass. And your mouth. And those boobs. God you have the best boobs,” she sighs. “He’s eighteen. He’s resilient.”

  “Do you really think so?”

  “Yes, I really do, but if you end it like this, all awkward and weird he’ll always think he did something wrong. Just be honest with him. You have from the beginning.”

  “What if I break his heart?”

  She scoffs. “That kid is going to break a thousand hearts freshman year alone. That smile? It’s killer. He will cut a swath through sorority row that will never recover from the likes of him—especially after all the ammo you gave him. One bruised heart from you won’t kill him—it’ll make him stronger.”

  Maggie walks over to us, limping on one foot. Huge tears fall down her cheeks. “That girl pushed me and my knee got hurt and I’m bleeding everywhere!” All of this came out in between hiccups.

  “Whatever you do, fix it fast,” she says, inspecting Maggie’s injured knee. “I want to go back to the pool.”

  *

  I brace myself on the ride to the pool, in the parking lot, and as we walk through the gate. All my preparations and fretting are worthless in the end. He’s not here.

  We hang around through the shift changes and Carter never shows. It’s Tuesday and he always works on Tuesdays and I’m about to sneak into the guard room to check the schedule but I don’t.

  Because this is what I want. This is over. We’re done. Summer has come to an end and everything has gone according to plan. I seduced Aqua-Man, showed him the ropes, had amazing sex and now we both move on.